"I almost gave up on myself if it wasn't for my families support..." The basketball journey of Jesse Jones aka, 'Filayyyy'

One of the biggest obstacles that a person must go through to become successful is, facing their insecurities. In some cases, a person’s insecurity is the only aspect that stops them from reaching their potential. Insecurities are arguably the biggest test placed on every person as it has the potential to overtake them depending on how much power they allow their insecurity to carry. For Jesse Jones, his insecurities had the ability to overtake his life, but he managed to overcome the many years of struggle he faced, especially towards playing basketball. 

Jones is currently a professional basketball player and a social media icon with over two million followers on his page called, ‘Filayyyy.’ However, the journey that it took for Jones to accomplish his dream of becoming a professional athlete and a social media icon was an emotional rollercoaster ride. 

Born in Irvington, New Jersey, Jones grew up with a close family that showed nothing but love and support. Growing up, Jones was a creative person who loved spending his free time outside with his brother or friends, playing basketball or riding his bike. Outside of his free time, Jones was a hard-working person at a young age and spent a lot of his time helping his father at his job. 

“I spent a lot of my childhood with my father. Growing up, my father owned a restaurant, and at the time, I wanted to be a professional chef like my father. I was always with him and would help in the restaurant. I was a chef at eight years old and quickly picked up the lessons from my father.”

Jones’ father played a significant role in his life and was his best friend growing up. From spending time in the kitchen with his father to playing basketball, the bond that Jones and his father had growing up is one of the aspects that shaped Jones into the successful person he is today. However, Jones’ parents were also very strict and were dedicated to raising their children with respect, work ethic and resiliency. With Jones always being around his father, he made sure to exhibit these lessons by watching and absorbing the examples that his father was teaching him. 

“At a young age growing up in the urban area, it’s tough for people to look at you and say that you’re a good person. People would look at you as if you’re a villain because you came from an urban area. It might not happen all the time, but you could see when people were uncomfortable around the person you are before even knowing you,” shared Jones. 

“What I learned from my father was always to be who you are regardless of what people say or think of you. I have seen my father repeatedly introducing himself with respect to anyone regardless of race, gender or religion. He was a gentleman and believed that respect is what makes a man. My father taught me those lessons, and I will always be grateful for them as he taught me what a man is supposed to be,” revealed Jones.

While his father played a significant role in Jones’ life, his mother was just as supportive. Growing up, she comforted Jones through the tough times and ensured that he would be well for the next day. From cooking his favourite meal to going out of her way to purchase the best clothes, the support from Jones’ mother was priceless and reassured him that no matter how tough life can be, he can always find comfort in his mother. Jones's connection with his mother is carried until today as she is involved in every part of his life. Usually, with age, the bond between a parent and a child has drifted apart, but for Jones, he always made sure to keep close relations with both his parents.

While his relationship with his family is inseparable, his time in school was difficult for Jones and was some of the hardest forms of adversity he faced in his life. 

During middle school and high school, Jones had low self-esteem and was insecure about what people thought of him. While his family was always supportive and non-judgement, the same love and support were rarely shown in school. Occasionally, he was picked on and laughed at by his peers. It felt lonely for Jones and was one of the root causes of how he developed his low self-esteem and insecurities early in his life. 

Being picked on by your peers is never easy to deal with as it can affect a kid’s or teenagers’ growth and development. Even though Jones wouldn’t call his experience with his peers as being 'bullied,' it was still a challenging period in his life that left significant damage, especially when he wanted to take basketball seriously. When Jones started high school, he was very insecure and had difficulty with self-esteem. One of the ways that Jones would find escape in his situation was through basketball. While Jones had no obsession with watching basketball, his love for physically playing the sport attracted him to become a professional basketball player. 

In high school, Jones was one of the best basketball players and overall athletes. Unfortunately, some of his peers and even his head coach did not think the same of him. They would patronize Jones through disrespectful comments and even place him in a lower level of basketball than what he should have been playing. These experiences that Jones had were some of the most challenging times he’s ever faced and are what ultimately lowered his confidence. 

“The hecklers and coaching staff during my high school days at the time lowered my confidence as I was still learning how to cope with the hate and disrespect I received. My head coach told me that all I will ever be is a Division lll player and would always say stuff like ‘here’s double J’ or ‘JV superstar,’ and in my head, it messed me up. In my head, I thought that my coach was the one that made me play JV and play bad because I wasn’t able to play at a higher level because of my coach,” shared Jones.

“People in my class and people that I knew were always confused as to why I was not on the varsity team. They saw my hard work in practice and wondered why I was treated this unfairly,” said Jones. 

Becoming a professional basketball player was all Jones dreamed of, but his environment in school attempted to make sure that he could never fulfil his dream. It was a challenging time for Jones because he could play at the highest level but was never given the opportunity due to the coaching staff. Jones was at an all-time low and almost quit on himself until he remembered a viable lesson from his father. 

“My father told me that I will always experience haters or disrespectful people and advised me on who to be around and who to avoid. He taught me everything I know today and is a major reason I have developed as good a work ethic as I do today. My father would be by my side and help me practice shooting and dribbling anytime I needed it. My father played a significant part in who I am today because he was always there in my highest highs and my lowest lows,” revealed Jones.

“While high school had its tough moments, I concluded that I needed to block all the negativity and focus on my goals and make my parents proud. My parents always supported me and advised me to focus on my goals and better myself as a person. I reached a point where I wanted to owe their hard work raising me. At the end of high school, my motivation was to return the favour my parents gave me,” revealed Jones.

Jones’s parents' impact on him was the most consistent and significant energy he needed to surpass the adversity he experienced in high school. While it was tough for him to build persistence and resiliency, he remembered his parents’ example and used that as his focus to working on overcoming the trauma that he experienced in high school. Having someone like a head coach consistently heckle a person who has aspirations to advance to the professional level is a detrimental experience for anyone to face. 

Once Jones graduated from high school, he could not play at a Division l college. He was never allowed to showcase his talent at the highest level. While most would have felt discouraged or unmotivated, Jones wanted to prove everyone who doubted him wrong and developed an impressive work ethic that he carried on for years. 

“During my senior year of high school, I developed a routine of hitting the gym and working on my game. My high school career was a rollercoaster ride filled with emotions and uncertainty. I played on my high school basketball team every year, and in my senior year, I was kicked off the team. I ended up going to a Division lll community college because I never played in my senior year, so I never received offers from higher division schools,” shared Jones.

Despite Jones not receiving offers from Division l schools, his daily routine and passion for basketball were all he needed to stay motivated. However, the transition from high school to college was difficult for Jones, given his high school experience and lack of play. 

“The transition from high school to college was mentally learning the game. I didn’t play at the highest level in high school, so I never got a chance to learn the game. When I went to college, I felt like I was a baby; everything I was learning was all fresh for me. I didn’t know what a good shot was or knowing what my role is on a team; I didn’t experience being part of a team until college.”

“Because I was unable to play a full game of basketball in high school, the insecurities I had would come out at the college level. I was a small guard at times, and it was difficult for me to adjust to the strength level that a player needed to play the guard position. It was tough for me to guard certain people, and I was still afraid to make mistakes and get taken out of the game as my coaches did in high school,” shared Jones.

For the first year of Jones’s college career, he struggled with confidence on the court due to the fear of making a mistake. For the whole season, Jones’s insecurities and fears dictated how he would play each game. While he was still a solid player, his potential was greater. Everyone around him knew that his biggest obstacle of becoming a professional basketball player was himself and needed to face reality. 

During the last game, his father was in attendance and could tell that Jones continued to play basketball with fear. Towards the end of the game, Jones, for the first time, would play in confidence and hit two shots to shorten the lead to four points. Unfortunately, it was too late for the team to make a comeback and, as a result, lost the game. While the game was tough to lose, Jones experienced something far more significant than would change his mindset forever after the game. 

“After the game, I got in the car with my dad; he scolded me and told me that he won’t come to my games as long as I continued to play nervously—the moment he said that he wouldn’t come to my games anymore. My mindset towards life changed. That was the mental switch I needed, and ever since that moment, I have played basketball with full confidence ever since,” revealed Jones.

Jones struggled a lot with confidence in the first few years of his basketball journey. Still, none of that mattered in comparison with his fathers’ relationship. His father and the rest of his family were the only consistent form of support and love that he felt when times were tough, and he didn’t want to disappoint them. When Jones heard that his father would no longer come to his games, he realized at that moment that playing basketball was not just about him but also his family. 

Jones’ journey to basketball was far from easy. His experiences in middle school and high school led him to develop insecurities and low self-esteem that would take him years to overcome. While the start of his journey was tough, his family was always by his side. Without them and their impact, Jones would have had a harder time coping and overcoming his experiences in high school. 

Today, Jones is a successful professional basketball player and a social media icon with over two million followers on his Instagram page, ‘Filayyyy.’ The lesson that can be learned from Jesse Jones’ story to basketball is that in life, there will always be people that doubt you and wish the worst upon you but, the only opinion that matters are the people who love you and your own. Jones could have believed what was said about him but didn’t despite how tough it was for him. Mental health is a real thing that athletes experience daily. This story proves how important it is to treat every person with respect and dignity. While it was difficult for Jones to reach his goal, his experiences shaped him into the man he is today. Along the journey, he built a mental philosophy that drives him every day. 

“Whatever happens, happens but, I am going to bust my a** and work hard regardless of what anyone says. I will get myself there because I watched throughout my whole high school career how coaches gave players hand-outs and patted them on the back and not me. It made me build a mentality to continue to work hard, so I don’t need any hand-outs; I’m going to make my own,” said Jones.

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